The Bus Driver

today i was presented with an example of what i was saying about how to let go of trying always to MAKE peace...but rather to just ALLOW peace.

again on the bus [can a bus be a muse? i am inspired each time i ride it and some writing comes from it] i sat just people-watching. a woman had gotten on behind me but did not come directly to a seat and instead began some sort of tirade directed at the bus driver.

i did not catch it all as i had been listening to a baby a few seats away trying out a few new words.

it seems the driver had not stopped in the spot the woman expected...she is apparently picked up routinely at a specific spot. mind you he stopped at the official bus stop only 8 feet or so from where she had been waiting.

but this was not right in her opinion and she was not kind in her assessment of his bus-

driving etiquette. i began to pay attention when she raised her voice and started gesturing.

the driver at first said nothing, but listened to her complaints.

then he calmly said "oh i did not know that".

she stood for another few seconds and then headed toward a seat, mumbling and still angry.

so the driver said, "thank you for explaining that to me. i will know next time. i appreciate it."

wow.

think about what a person driving a bus must hear and see and, yes, smell all day long. think of how uncomfortable that seat must become after several hours in it. think of all the crap he probably had taken from others today. and how about the HUGE responsibility? - the transporting of all these riders to their destinations safely...through traffic and construction and quirky weather.

yet he did not respond as if anything was amiss. he took that moment to center himself and to reply respectfully to her; even giving her gratitude for her words. not only did his calmness and thoughtful response serve to de-escalate the situation but he actually allowed her to save face. his thanking her gave her the opportunity to walk away with some dignity.

i was so touched by his behavior that i told him so as i exited the bus.

he had allowed PEACE to happen. there were a lot of other ways he could have handled it. [and probably felt like saying other things, too.] he might have tried forcing her to be quiet or to go sit down....but he chose to use his tranquil energy to counteract the harshness of hers.

that is what i meant by rather than 'making' peace, i am learning to 'allow' peace...no force, no big dramatic gesture...as Nimisha commented: "just be".

and who knows why the woman behaved as she did. not i. not the driver. she may have been hurting or had to deal with some trauma also today.

the point is that these moments happen to us daily where we are gifted with a chance to make change, positive change, in our surroundings and in the lives of others.