i am hurtling through time and space at an unbelievable clip. i have no control of my body - arms are flailing, legs wave and wiggle. all i can do is pray. pray that i land eventually in a safe soft spot.since mom's crossing over i have been plagued / blessed ? by multiple physical problems. i am thinking that the grief process has been turned into a physical rather than emotional or spiritual challenge. having been unable to get the psychological trauma out into the open the pain has manifested into various hardbody issues. like the grief is manifesting in my physical body. feels like bizarro world.
1 month (to the day) after mom died i broke my foot. then i had the car wreck (see the dimensions post). then came all that entailed with PT and pills and therapists. then i had several UTI's. then the digestive tract disturbances, the blood pressure rise, the weight gain, the bronchial infections and panic attacks. now my hip joint and SI joints have lost control - feel jammed and i am in constant physcial pain.
most of these things are issues my mom had. so i asked the psychic counselor if i am indeed possessed by my mom. no she said...but i am working all the stuff she left behind out through my body. i am processing her pain in order to get rid of my own. ?
makes sense. especially in bizarro world.
the regular world counselor/psychologist i was seeing was really good and compassionate and accepting. But i had a sense that she could only go so far with my needs...she could not really venture into the other dimensions with me. so now i will go to see a wonderful person my sister recommended. he is a shaman and energy healer. he is also a minister who understands when i tell him that the psychic says that Jesus is my 'ascended master'...i say i know that already but it is nice to hear.
here is hoping i can now get on with this grieving - i am tired of all the hurting and just want to rest. peace. stop the world for a minute. quit the hurtling through the cosmos with no apparent direction in mind.
i want to once again be able to sit at my altar and meditate.
this is my declaration - that i will be stronger than before.
this is my mantra: this too shall pass.
love. peace. namaste'.
