i am so very sad today. i do not know why. it is may ~ the 23rd ~ saturday. i do not connect this date to any specific event. it is the day before my eldest grandson has his 16th birthday and that is a terrific thing! so why be sad?
sadness is not the opposite of happiness i have known for a long time and i have found that the concept is hard for most folks to grasp. i can be fundamentally happy and still experience a deep and disturbing lost feeling in my spirit. i can dwell, content, in the life i have been given, the joys i am blessed to have...and still be sad at times.
i want to want to sing. i love to sing and i sing to express most of my feelings...lately i will sing anywhere at any time.
perhaps i am mistaking this as a sign of 'happiness' when it is really a symptom of mental illness.
oh well - i wish i could sing today and maybe sing the sadness away.
but i do not even want to ... my mouth is dry and i am dizzy. my heart is heavy and there is an opaqueness to my soul.
God help all of us who are so chained in this moment to the humaness of emotion and the pain of knowing we are not in control of our essence.
God let us all begin to realize that this lack of control is a gift in disquise. a present wrapped so tightly that we must go to our strongest point of power, to our core, in order to open it.
once we unwrap it and accept it we can then allow the energy of what feels so heavy to return to its original state of light and love.
universal compassion
infinite sun
immortal moon
lead me to that place of being in harmony with all that is .
GRATITUDE.
"Moon Willow Bear"
