REALLY letting it go...

i had thought my birthday was gonna be a wash-out last saturday.
my first one without my mom being here in person to badger me about my weight or to give those back-handed 'compliments' she was so adapt at doing. or a hug.

i had no idea i would miss her physical presence so much. afterall she went to a lot of trouble and pain to bring me here (though i have not always been so grateful of that).

my dear friend Shirley was planning on taking me to my fave diner - the spiral for dinner. and i had asked - at the last minute - a few very beloved others to join us. i heard from most of the folks saying they could not or most likely could not make it...sad but ok we can have a quiet tete a tete, just me and Shirl.

then she called and was too ill to go. by then the hysteria which had hit that a.m. when i awakened to the serious sadness of no mama to call me, had abated. partly because i had listened to some Wayne Dyer stuff and he had reinforced my already knowing heart that what is , IS. and we cannot hurry life along or count on plans turning out as we envisioned.
so i was in a place where i could really say to S that it is ok - when it is the right time we will go to my bd dinner and it will be good.

i am ok here making Christmas caps and singing quietly.

Then i realized that i DID want one thing for the day - my MELH birthday song. so , thinking i was on her cell, i called her at what i thought was her mom's. the phone did not ring - here or there.
we just picked up at the same time. after a few mins she said "oh did you call ME?' and i said "yes, did you call ME?' funny.

so MELH took me to the spiral where we had a wonderful visit and mainly oooohhed and awwwwed at the miracle of spirit and God's funny sense of timing.

as we visited, M's face lit up and i thought she must be seeing my mom as i had felt her with us the whole evening. But it was earthly angel Maggie.
she came too! and we 3 had a great little meal and talk and i felt the day had indeed turned out as it was meant.

while i rolled back down memory lane i recounted how i was born on dec 20th in the days (somewhat later than dinos but earlier than birth innovations of today) when moms stayed in the hosp at least 3 - 5 days after giving birth.
also in those days, am ambulance was required for the trip -in its infanthood it was sometimes station wagons. sometimes HEARSES!

so , yeah, you guessed it - a few days after i tentatively arrived on earth i was transported home with my mom in a HEARSE....but not before the driver got lost and drove us straight through the cemetary!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i ask you - as Maggie and ME both agreed - is that not descriptive of my trying so hard to hang onto the ground while wanting to fly away?
i almost literally, at about 3 days old, had a foot moving towards home and a foot above the grave!

we all laughed and then considered the amazing plan that God has always had for me and the challenge that is this life here on this planet.

So happy birthday to me - 60 is good and i am glad. And i plan a big blow out when the weather is good ... mark your calendars for the spring (tba) and plan on celebrating with me the fact that i can have a birthday every day if i want.

SO CAN YOU! happy birthday to you all.