of course there's redtape for any 'wedding' but ours was an elopement and for that i guess i am both grateful and sad - it would be so nice to have a real hullabaloo, swinging time,with all our friends and loved ones.but circumstances and attitudes prevented that out-loud joy...instead we had a joy-on-the run sort of thing. i almost lost David when he heard we had to have blood tests [yes in those days dear children those about to do the deed had to have physicals and blood tests]. David hates blood and needles so he says maybe .... and i am like maybe nothin'. We will have BLOOD one way or another. once i commit to something i tend to take it through. so he gave up and offered his finger for a prick [just for little ol me].
That done, we went to get a license. interesting. 4 staff people behind the counter and none busy, but, none came forward to wait on us for a looooong time. had D and i been other sorts of people we might have jumped the desk and demanded attention ... but we waited. finally a brave worker came over and begrudgingly sold us a marriage license...i wondered if she was ostracized after by her co-workers. very brave of her to actually register a black man and white woman to marry in that day and age.
This of course, if i've not mentioned it, was our reason for eloping. David's dad liked me though we'd only met a couple of times. His mom did not. My mom however took it to a new level when she threatened to shoot David if he did not go away [mind you she has never owned a weapon, nor been violent in the time i knew her]. and since i was then 21 and living in my own place there was not much she could do. my brother was very supportive of my being happy and said as much ~ he was loyal and wrote to us often when we were away. My dad said "you are my daughter and as such, i know i would not be deterred by what others say, so ....do what makes you happy."
next up was where would we go to marry? recall i told you we were both naive folks and really did not have a clue about a lot of life. SOME of it we learned quickly the hard way. we had some friends who had gotten married the year before by one of our professors. So we asked him and he did not want to set a precedent and felt it would not do to be the marrying professor. We looked in the phonebook for justices of the peace etc. on TV it always seemed easy to elope - just drive to a small town and there would be a little old guy who served as mayor, sheriff and justice all at once. but in real life it was not working that way.
so on monday morning, 3/23/70, we went to school {TCJC} and found our friend Mike C. he was licensed as a minister for the Church of Universal Life. Under a little tree outside the S.U.B., on the campus, we were wed, at 10:50 am, between classes. Just the 3 of us present.
(When mom heard who had married us she hoped that it was illegal - this was in a letter begging me to come 'home' and that she would pay for a divorce and not say another word ever about this 'thing'. Mike was in the newspaper years later in a story about how many folks he had married and how some folks thought it was illegal but it was not and on ... anyway mom had to accept that we were LEGAL, though that was the least of our issues.)
after our wedding we spent the night with friends then went to each family the next day to share our 'good' news. well that is when mom talked about her shotgun...and D's mom just stared. then we hit the road for LA. David's g'pa lived there in Englewood and we decided to surprise him :0). THAT was interesting too.
BUt first - the road trip. oh the days of full service gas stations and 35 cent bread. have you ever stopped for $3 worth of gas [ a lot in those days], given the attendant a five, and waited simply to have him pocket it and stand leaning on a pump staring off into space?
Yeah - bless Buddha ... first do no harm. we sat a minute, each of us contemplating the outcome of anything other than driving on our way...so awaaaaay we went. $2 poorer, but in peace and not pieces...this one actually had a gun in his station window.
along the way we had a lot of glares and stares and occasional we 'don't serve your kind here' remarks. and there was the one pickup driver who swooshed by us on the highway just to slow way down and shake his rifle at us.
violent attitudes are best met with calm, quiet. i instinctively knew this and we both refused to be drawn into the mire of ugliness that seemed to be everywhere we went.
It was still a good trip - newlyweds making their way across country, stopping only for necessities. Spent one night in the desert as we had no idea how far the next town would be and we were near a gas station that would be closed until 5 am. So we slept in our good old impala with the pillow and blanket we had brought with us...and all felt right in that space of time...our world was one of love and tranquil dreams.
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