This past weekend David and i went out to the cemetery to visit my mom's grave - her marker was put in place last week.
it looks really lovely ... never thought i would use that term for something so odd.
odd as in 'why do we need a marker for a grave?'.
odd as in "what is the point of all the rituals - markers - that we use in our times of pain, growth, happiness, depression?".
birth - we put an armband on the child saying 'boy' or 'girl'. then a name; as individual as we may try to make it, the name is seldom unique...but it is how we mark that particular child.
school - we get all kinds of things to mark our transition from one year to the next...grade reports, certificates....
marriage - noted / marked by rings, licenses, anniversaries.
DEATH ~ we mark it by a ceremony honoring in some way the physicality of the deceased. Tho' spirit lives on & is the REAL being, we still feel a connection to that hard-world body. So we say thanks to the universe for that connection.
And then there is a concrete memory in the form of, usually, a grave stone...marker.
WHY? we do it because we need to somehow desginate that we were here. That could be me - would anyone remember? our own mortality has to be recognized in some way.
we need so desperately to make a literal and figurative mark on the world...to know that there is physical representation that we made some sort of impact. and possibly, just possibly, changed this world in a positive way... so that our having lived on this plane will not be forgotten.
I never, as i said, thought i could feel such solace and relief at having placed a stone at the head of the grave that is where my physical mom is buried.
But i do, and i am glad. Peace.
it looks really lovely ... never thought i would use that term for something so odd.
odd as in 'why do we need a marker for a grave?'.
odd as in "what is the point of all the rituals - markers - that we use in our times of pain, growth, happiness, depression?".
birth - we put an armband on the child saying 'boy' or 'girl'. then a name; as individual as we may try to make it, the name is seldom unique...but it is how we mark that particular child.
school - we get all kinds of things to mark our transition from one year to the next...grade reports, certificates....
marriage - noted / marked by rings, licenses, anniversaries.
DEATH ~ we mark it by a ceremony honoring in some way the physicality of the deceased. Tho' spirit lives on & is the REAL being, we still feel a connection to that hard-world body. So we say thanks to the universe for that connection.
And then there is a concrete memory in the form of, usually, a grave stone...marker.
WHY? we do it because we need to somehow desginate that we were here. That could be me - would anyone remember? our own mortality has to be recognized in some way.
we need so desperately to make a literal and figurative mark on the world...to know that there is physical representation that we made some sort of impact. and possibly, just possibly, changed this world in a positive way... so that our having lived on this plane will not be forgotten.
I never, as i said, thought i could feel such solace and relief at having placed a stone at the head of the grave that is where my physical mom is buried.
But i do, and i am glad. Peace.
1 comment:
... a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck...
a hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap...
a barrel and heap and I'm talkin' in my sleep about you.....
about you....
i remember and that's the point, yes?
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